It's Natural to be Afraid
by AtholBrose
Summary: S4 spoilers ahead. Kate must harness her fear in order to avoid losing him forever. Man, summaries are hard to write. :


A/N: Slight spoilers for Episode 4x10. Not my best fic, IMO; I'm just biding my time before finishing my other two fics, and I'm experiencing a nasty case of writer's block. So, this is just drabble, but I wanted to write something in light of the spoilers we've received for the upcoming episode. I wrote this in the span of a few hours, and of course, this is just wishful thinking on my part.

I seem to have acquired a bad habit of naming all of my stories after EITS' songs. I can't help it; their music reminds of Jack and Kate. Please read and review!

* * *

**It's Natural to be Afraid**

"Wake up, Jack. Jack? Can you hear me?"

Juliet checked his temperature by placing her cool hand over his arm, then his forehead before determining that it was exuding considerable heat. She shook him gently, but received no response from Jack as he lay still on his cot. His lips and complexion were both unnaturally pale, and there wasn't much roving movement to his eyes when Juliet gently pried his eyelids open.

"Jack? Can you hear me?" she called out again, noting to herself how her words were starting sounding like a hollow mantra.

She sighed, and turned her head up to look at Kate, who was standing still behind her. Her fists were balled up at her sides, and her expression was muted and grim.

"Kate?" Juliet stood up to face Kate, who kept her eyes trained on Jack's form.

"I don't know what's wrong with him, Kate," Juliet said in a hushed tone, "I mean, hiis body temperature seems cooler than it was 20 minutes ago, but…I just can't…Kate?"

Juliet stared at the brunette before her. She noticed a strange, distant look in her green eyes, and Juliet felt a sudden pang of disquiet, hoping that whatever was afflicting Jack wasn't also afflicting Kate. Before Juliet could ask, Kate spoke up.

"She's coming. She'll be here soon," Kate murmured, dazed as if relaying information to herself.

"Kate," Juliet said as she gently touched her arm, "are you ok?"

Kate finally turned to face Juliet. _Was she ok? _She repeated Juliet's question in her own mind. No, she was not ok. She felt all twisted up in knots, helpless to know what to do. She'd felt helpless to come to Jack's aid before, but those moments required her to run towards him. And running _towards _him was what felt natural to her now, not running _away_ as she had in the past. But Jack's predicament now didn't require any running. He was still, so still and so pale that he looked...dead. She shuddered violently at the thought.

Jack lying motionless was something she just wasn't used to. She had always held a confidence in Jack that he was somehow...untouchable...and that the belief that he would make it out alive, mentally and physically, was something she held onto, giving her a vicarious boost for the will to live. Even when they had been chased through the jungle by the strange black smoke, even when he was left behind with the Others, even as Locke was threatening to shoot him for the sat phone - he would not go down without a fight, his determined spirit willing his survival.

She stared solemnly at his still body, his legs curled in conveying such vulnerability that it drove a hot stake through her heart.

He wasn't protecting anybody.

He wasn't reassuring everyone's safety.

He wasn't moving.

He wasn't Jack.

The reality of Jack's symbolic emasculation gripped her. She felt paralyzed before Juliet, who was doing what she can to monitor his health, and Sun, along with Jin, were out in the jungle, searching for some plant root they claimed to have seen, and use it as an herbal remedy. Rose was collecting cloths to douse with cool, fresh water while Bernard formed a small group to trek out to fill up the water bottles for Juliet's use. Everyone was doing what they can to help Jack, but all Kate could do was stand there, confused and unable to grasp at the possibility of actually losing Jack forever.

This was not how she pictured her last goodbye to be with him. Not by a long shot. She shook her head. _No_, she told herself defiantly, _this is not what he would do. This is not how we end.  
_

Her fists tightened against her sides, and her lips drew themselves tightly across her face. She looked back at Juliet with fiery determination.

"I'm not letting him go like this," Kate said, firmly.

She kneeled by Jack's side and took his limp hand with both of hers. It felt hot to her touch. Up close, she could see that his breathing was shallow, slightly labored. She bit her lip, mustering her all of her strength to conceal the trembling in her voice. She was so afraid.

"Jack?" she called out, "Jack, I need you to listen to me. I...I know you can hear me. Please..."

Juliet kneeled beside her. She gave Kate a sympathetic look, and said softly, "I don't know if he can hear you, Kate."

"Yes, he can," she snapped back at the doctor. Juliet stared at Kate for a moment, then let her shoulders slump and nodded, acknowledging Kate's insistence.

Turning her attention back to Jack, Kate spoke again, in a softer tone, "I know he can hear me. Jack? Please…please give me a sign. I need you to give me a sign that you can hear my voice. Please! Jack..."

As she continued her pleas, she felt the hot tears streaming down her face, leaving her lips wet and salty. Her voice was thick with emotion and despair, and she found herself unable to stop. In that moment as she clutched tightly onto Jack's hand, everything that had occurred in the past few months faded into the background.

"…please give me a sign that you can hear me," she cried softly.

Suddenly, she felt her hand being gently squeezed. His fingers, once limp and unmoving, were now closed around her knuckles, pushing themselves weakly, then resigned as if it took every fiber of him to accomplish the act. She stared down at their hands in disbelief, then glanced at his unconscious face. She shot a look at Juliet, wide-eyed.

"He squeezed my hand! Jack! Jack? Oh god…" she cried. She sat up, and grazed a hand across his face, stroking him gently.

Taking a deep breath, she prodded, "Please. Open your eyes, Jack. I need you to come back, ok? Come back to me, Jack. Come back to me."

She was crying openly now at the delay in a response. She sniffed back her tears, noticing now that Juliet had quietly slipped out of the tent. She leaned closer to Jack's body and placed her free hand over his chest, bowing her head as if in prayer for a small miracle.

"Please come back. I need you," she murmured into the fabric of his shirt, "I need you so much. Come back to me."

"Ka—Kate?"

Her head shot up at the sound of his whimper, feeble and strained. She lurched forward, finding herself practically on top of him.

"Jack! Oh god, Jack." She almost laughed, overjoyed as she saw Jack fighting to open his eyes. She brought both of her hands up to clasp his face. His eyes fluttered some more before settling in half-opened, half-closed state, straining to focus on the sight before him. Two green eyes, wet with fresh tears, gazed back at him conveying joy and relief…and something else. Love.

"Jack…oh thank god! Are you ok? How are you feeling? Can you talk?" she exclaimed, unable to retain her excitement at his sudden consciousness.

"Wa—water?" he choked out.

"Oh geez!" she cried out, as she pushed off of Jack's chest and lunged for the water bottle behind her. Unscrewing the cap, she steadied the bottle with one hand while pulling Jack's neck up at a slight incline using the crook of her arm. Jack took a tentative sip.

"Yes, slowly…just a little more," she cajoled softly. Jack shook his head, indicating he'd had enough. But Kate knew he'd gone without water and food for the past 6 or 7 hours, and she wasn't about to let his his stubbornness get in the way of his health again. She grabbed some of the mango slivers Juliet had prepared, and proceeded to gently plop a few into his mouth.

"A little more, Jack…_Yes_, Jack, some more. Ok…" she sighed as she lowered him gently back down. She tucked her knees under her as she sat beside his cot, her fingers sliding a stray curl behind her ear, then tentatively resting on his arm. Placing her hand flush onto his arm, she squeezed it gently, feeling the warmth of his skin, and smiled shyly.

She knew that with some more fruit, and maybe some soup in his system, and a little more sleep, Jack's state would improve. He looked slightly better, though he was still pale and his eyes were blinking with some force to keep them open. She laughed softly at his resistance to let sleep overcome him.

"Are you always trying to fight what comes naturally, Jack? It's ok," she cooed, stroking his arm gently, "you need to sleep now. You're going to get better. I know you will."

Jack exhaled, then inhaled before reaching clumsily for her hand. As he intertwined his fingers weakly with her stronger ones, he looked intently at her.

"I heard you..." he whispered hoarsely, "I heard you, Kate."

Kate gave him a grateful smile. She nodded and pressed her forehead onto his shoulder, just to feel close to him. She leaned against him like that for a while, still clutching onto his hand. They had weathered yet another storm, and each one that had occured felt more crushing, more heart-wrenching than the last, and she knew why.

Taking a deep breath, she clenched onto Jack's hand even tighter and closed her eyes.

* * *


End file.
